People I've loved
I have no regrets
Some I remember
Some I forget
Some of them living
Some of them dead

All I want is to be home

we're just ordinary people, you and me
time will turn us into statues, eventually

You're my blood, you're my holy wine. You taste so bitter and so sweet. Oh, I could drink a case of you

To transfer schools or to not transfer schools. That is the question. If my dad were here, he'd know the right answer...

I feel like I'm a really needy person

I'm really dreading going back to school in the Fall

today is a bon iver kind of day

Fighting depression has been a nonstop battle for kefir the past year and a half. It's something I struggle with daily, and have trouble wading past all the bullshit. It fucking sucks

I wish it were 5 months ago, that weekend when I first met the girl of my dreams, the girl I knew I was gonna make mine. I wish it were the weekend of December 9th, the most perfect weekend ever. Back when times were simpler

I feel so lost

Dear god, what am I doing with my life?

I know I'm not the only one who has issues, but I just feel so shitty right now. I have a pit in my stomach. Im anxious and I'm not sure why. Sometimes my burdens are too much to bear

As the semester draws to a close, I'm becoming more and more unsure of myself. I really want summer to come to sort my shit out. I'm really nervous about the fall semester...

the end of the school year is so close! only like two and a half weeks left. it's crazy how much stuff has happened in the past 9 months. i think i'm making progress, although it doesn't seem like it sometimes

i really hope everything'll be alright

i still sometimes feel like i'm a burden to those who i love :(

i really wish someone would give me the recipe for a happy life

You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you

Stranded in this spooky town
Stoplights are swaying and the phone lines are down
This floor is crackling cold
She took my heart, I think she took my soul

She makes me ecstatic on a regular basis. She always sticksby my side even though I'm an idiot a lot of the time. I really appreciate her. My soulmate :)

sooo not gonna lie, but my 19th birthday was really great. definitely the best birthday i've had in a while

i'll follow you into the dark.

tomorrow is my fucking birthday. i should be happier about it. i fucking deserve to be happy. but something is eating away at me

having yet another anxiety attack

Today is the last full day before I turn 19 tomorrow. I'm really scared. I don't wanna get old. That's one of my biggest fears actually. With age comes more responsibility an inevitable heartbreak as people leave your life

I just have nooo motivation for school anymore

i'm trying soooo hard in everything i do, but sometimes i feel like i'm not appreciated

tomorrow is my dad's birthday, and it's got me thinking about how much i've changed as a person over the past year and a half. i used to think i was the most worthless piece of shit ever. i would go to school, and see my friends, but i would always think, "what's the point of any of this?" i seriously thought about ending my life. slowly, i was able to pull myself out of this rut

first semester of college was absolute shit for me. i felt lost. but nowadays, i'm feeling a lot better. i'm doing well academically, have supportive friends, and an amazing girlfriend.

i'm doing a lot better, and i'm excited to think about how much things will improve from here. i'm still not over the dead of my dad, and i wish more than anything that he was here, but i'm slowly accepting his death. i'm not sure if i'll ever be done grieving, but i'm progressing

it's the hardest imaginable thing to lose a parent at the age of 17, and having to basically take on more responsibilities while trying to enjoy being a teenager...shit's mad tough sometimes

and i know that if everything around me crumbles, she is the one thing that i will not let go of.

my sister and my friends probably think i'm fucking retarded, but i know with complete certainty that she's the one...nothing has ever felt so right in my life

i fucking hate country music, but i fucking love jamey johnson

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rI83_CTgCmo

she's the only one that can make me experience the whole spectrum of feelings...especially joy

she is the last thing i think about before i fall asleep and the first thing i think of every morning

she accepts me for who i am, embraces all my imperfections and knows how to make me laugh

she helps me up when i fall, and is always there for me

everything we've done is incredibly special, and she's the only girl i've dated that i don't have any regrets about

everytime we say goodbye, it breaks my heart, because i wish we could spend more time together, and the time we get always seems to fly by

she's the pickle to my sandwich, the banana to my monkey, the pepper to my salt, the broccoli to my burger

i think i can say with definite certainty that she's my soulmate 

i fucking love you more than anything, ECI <3 :)

keepin' calm and carryin' on

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up

I've come a long way bet the past year and a half. I bottomed out at one point. To be honest, I don't think I would live to my 19th birthday, and it's just a great feeling to be alive. i'm definitely happier now than I ever have been

although i'm struggling, i'd like to think i've come a long way since my dad's death. i used to have suicidal thoughts everyday. for the longest time, i wanted to die in my dad's place. i wanted him to be alive instead of me

i thought i was the most worthless person ever. i used to cry every damn day, wishing he were here

i may not be as happy as i'd like to be, i'm happier than i used to be, and i'm making a lot of progress

i think i know why i've been feeling off...my dad's birthday is coming up on friday the 13th. it fucking sucks knowing he's not here. that the person who has had the biggest impact on my life is fucking gone, and there's nothing more that i want than for him to be here, with me, telling me everything will be ok, and to just push on

i'm struggling 

I watched you as you slept
red arrows fell around us
and before the sea came in
i knew you were the one

i got off the phone with her. now i'm feeling panicky for some reason, and i'm not sure why. i'm feeling anxious and kind of in a rut.

what am i doing with my life?

what do you go home to?