Today at 4:30 p.m., my dog Nikita passed away. He's been my dog, shit, my best friend, since i was four years old. He was and is such a beautiful animal. I didn't even consider him a dog. He was a part of my family. Every since memory I have, he was associated with it in one way or another. He would always be waiting for me at  sitting on the couch near the front window, waiting for me to come home. He was the most gentle creature i've ever known. He would never hurt anyone. His death hurts as equally as much as me losing my father. We had such a special bond. He changed my life, and now it feels as though a part of me is dead. I can't feel anything right now except for pain. Sitting here at my desk, I remember him always walking right between my legs, and standing or sitting in the area underneath my desk. I've just had so much history with him, so many great memories. He was there for me through thick and thin.

 How much more loss can I endure before I break? I feel so weak, defenseless, vulnerable.

Rest in peace, Nikita. I know you'll keep my dad company in heaven. Just know that i love you so much