I'm definitely feeling in a better place about living here and being on my own - both romantically and being so far from everyone I know. I definitely am looking forward to exploring other relationships and meeting new people. I feel like I've been missing something vital with my relationship with my ex. Work is still really tough, and I'm definitely getting adjusted to it still. I struggle with the classroom management aspect of it, and the kids don't always listen to me as much as they should. I know, just like with my other jobs with kids, that I'll get the hang of it. And I definitely need to cut myself some slack and go with the flow more. I'm in such a beautiful state and city, and I really need to appreciate what I'm doing right now. I don't think I want to move back to the east coast at all anymore. I'm really content with being in Colorado

In an effort to help better myself, I have decided that I need to take care of myself better. It's tough for me to put myself first, because I usually tend to put the needs of everyone else ahead of mine. But I definitely need to put myself on top, because my needs and self-care are so crucial to me doing well this year at my new position in Boulder, I love working with kids, and I need to remember that first and foremost, they're the reason I'm doing this job. I want to serve my community and give underprivileged kids the same opportunities I had growing up. I'm so grateful for everything my family has done for me, and I want to help the future generation in any way that I can. I love kids - they're my passion. I feel so grateful for being able to be in such a beautiful place like Boulder. I feel like I worked so hard to get here, and my hard work has finally paid off! I definitely need to try to appreciate my situation more, and make the most of things, and I'm trying my best to do so. Drove up into beautiful Allenspark today, and took a hike near Lily Lake, and went to the lake for a bit to take in the beautiful view. I realized today how grateful I am to be in such a beautiful state. Colorado has been tough so far, but it's been so rewarding with beautiful views, amazing hikes and all around great friends and coworkers. I am so thankful for everything about my experience in Boulder. At first, I didn't like my experience, and it took awhile for me to get used to everything here, but I'm really starting to enjoy it!

It seems like my new theme of "Go west young man!" is slowly being taken over by "The mountains are calling, and I must go." The mountains here are breathtaking and so omnipresent. But everyday that I drive into downtown Boulder, I am still taken aback by their beauty and sheer magnitude. Everything about them is great. I want to be able to explore Colorado this year. I really am starting to love it here. I can't believe I get to call this absolutely beautiful state home!!

I finally fulfilled my dream of moving out to Colorado! I moved into Boulder last week. I guess I had really high expectations of how things would be  - classic. I just guess I felt like Colorado would instantly solve my problems or something, but that's obviously not the case. I just guess I imagined things differently. Boulder can be a hectic place, where everyone drives such nice cars, kind of like my hometown, but different in so many ways. I came out here to be more spiritual, to connect with nature, and find myself more. Who am I? What makes me tick? I guess this year will be a valuable learning experience in self-discovery. I'm looking forward to making new friendships, and fostering old relationships as well. I'm definitely still home-sick though. I miss my dogs and my family - my home and my room. But I need to be appreciative of everything I do have, because this is definitely something I've always wanted for many years now, and I think it'll be a valuable experience! I'll learn how to be more independent, as well. It'll be a great opportunity to grow and change as a person.

I just wish that my dad were here with me to experience Colorado. He would have loved it out here. He loved exploring and experiencing new places. He would be so proud of me. I just wish he were physically here to experience this with me, but I always carry him on my back with me. It's hard to believe that this October will be 5 years since he passed away. 5 years. Half a decade. I just wish he were here so badly. I miss him so much. He would have loved the beautiful drive into Estes Park, the beautiful Flatiron mountains, the small towns in northern Colorado, the school I'll be working in. I just hope that he's proud of the man I am today. He was always so supportive, nurturing and on top of everything - he always knew where to go on vacations, and always had everything planned out. He knew everything he was doing at all times. He's my hero, my role model. I just wish one day that I'll be half the man that he was. Sure he had his flaws, but to me, he was superman. He and I didn't always see eye to eye, and he always had such high expectations, but he was the best dad I could ever ask for

Now that it's after Halloween, I have set up my Christmas tree in my room and have Christmas music on blast daily. This is my favorite time of the year, because Thanksgiving and Christmas and Hanukkah are right around the corner - they are a chance to spend time with family and eat great food. The holidays aren't the same since my dad passed away, but I try to make the best of the situation I am dealt with. I appreciate the holidays that much more now, because I really appreciate my family and loved ones. The semester is slowly drawing to a close, and I am doing really well academically. I am trying to take it day by day, and being mindful of my daily actions. I find myself less angry and stressed than ever before. While some things may irk me, like my involvement with one school club, I still try to make the best of everything and try not to let my negativity get me down. I acknowledge the negative thoughts, and know that they are a normal part of everyday life, but I try to change my thinking and try to frame my thoughts in a more positive light.

I have so much work to do between now and Thanksgiving break. My workload is making me feel really anxious and stressed out. I'm trying to take everything day by day, and it helps to map what I need to do even hour by hour. It makes my workload seem less daunting. I also find that leaving sticky notes on my desk for what I have to do this week makes my workload manageable.

I bought my first Christmas tree a few days ago, and I set it up in my room today, next to my giant reindeer that wears a vest that counts down the days until Christmas. I know it's a little early to set them up, but the holidays always make me feel better, and I'm really excited that they're just around the corner. I love being able to spend time with my family and loved ones during the holidays, and curling up in front of the tv, watching a movie while sipping hot chocolate. I also love when it snows. I find it to be really relaxing, just watching the snow drift down.

I'm trying to stay mindful and present during this time of the semester. Although I'm stressed, I find myself to be coping with it better. I have a lot of work to do, but I know that I can get it all done!

This week and next are two of the most stressful weeks of this semester (apart from finals week, of course). Although we're a little more thank halfway through this semester, I'm taking a really important midterm tomorrow and I have a psych test next week. I always get really anxious about taking tests because I never feel as though as I am prepared enough, even though I spend days preparing for them. I just have to learn to let things go, because even as badly as I think I'll do, I usually never end up getting less than a B. Sometimes it's just really hard for me to let things go, but I'm trying to be more optimistic about schoolwork

This semester, I've been much less stressed than normal. My eczema, which would have normally flared up by now, has not inflamed my hands, causing painful cuts. This semester, however, I find myself to be coping with my workload better than normal. Before, I would always be upset by getting anything lower than an A or A-, but this semester, I've been trying to put things in perspective. Even if I get a lower grade than I would like, I am still doing well in all of my classes. I am trying to live in the moment more and trying to enjoy my last year of college. 

When I was home over fall break, I took a walk at the reservoir after some sort of race, and there was chalk writing inscribed on the asphalt. They were inspirational things written to motivate the runners to finish the race, but I found it to motivate me as well. Phrases like "love your body" and "I believe in you!" were scrawled on the pavement in large font. It motivated me to enjoy my surroundings more. Those phrases were inspirational in that they motivated the passerby to notice and appreciate things that they might have previously taken for granted. I know that I take a lot of things for granted, that I normally don't have to worry about. But it's important to take a few minutes out of your day to just be mindful and appreciative of the moment and all that you can be thankful for. For example, I'm thankful for my family, my girlfriend, my friends, my dogs and my good health. I am doing the best I can with what I've been given, and that's all I can do! As my mom always says, "try your best, and forget the rest!"