choking, drowning, anxious about the future. i'm tired of all this bullshit, and i can't live in the moment.

i'm tired of sitting around, and wasting my time.

for whatever reason, when i panic i think of what my life would be like if i decided to go out to colorado, my dream for a good year and a half now

i'd like to go there this summer to experience life that doesn't revolve living in the northeast

a sort of a roadtrip for a couple weeks

i've always wanted to enjoy nature in the midwest. just to go for a hike in the forest. it's gorgeous out there

to bring my dad with me. if not physically, at least spiritually

to experience another lifestyle with him, together

to be in a better place mentally, that i so desperately dream of

instead of being trapped in my room, that awful box that always reminds me of how devastating senior year was, when i only wanted to end my life