there's been this one memory that's been haunting me the past few days...

back in october, i visited a high school friend at UConn with some of my other high school friends. i got pretty drunk, and at about 3 am, we all went back to my friend's dorm. i was lying down on my friends' roommates' bed, and most of my friends were hanging outside in the hallway. then, my friend Jason walked in, and he lied down on my friends' bed. i had a breakdown and vented to him that i really missed my dad. he asked me, "what would your dad want you to do?" and the first thing that came to my head, which i said outloud was, "kill myself" and then immediately began to cry uncontrollably....