tomorrow is my dad's birthday, and it's got me thinking about how much i've changed as a person over the past year and a half. i used to think i was the most worthless piece of shit ever. i would go to school, and see my friends, but i would always think, "what's the point of any of this?" i seriously thought about ending my life. slowly, i was able to pull myself out of this rut

first semester of college was absolute shit for me. i felt lost. but nowadays, i'm feeling a lot better. i'm doing well academically, have supportive friends, and an amazing girlfriend.

i'm doing a lot better, and i'm excited to think about how much things will improve from here. i'm still not over the dead of my dad, and i wish more than anything that he was here, but i'm slowly accepting his death. i'm not sure if i'll ever be done grieving, but i'm progressing

it's the hardest imaginable thing to lose a parent at the age of 17, and having to basically take on more responsibilities while trying to enjoy being a teenager...shit's mad tough sometimes