how can anyone be happy with mediocrity?

i find it hard not to be bogged down with all the bullshit in the world

what if my life turned out differently? i always ask myself this question

what if the knife went in? if my car had actually swerved off the road? what if my dad were still alive?

all these fucking disjointed thoughts keep me awake at night. and i just lie awake praying for sleep to overcome my drained body

i feel so weak sometimes