i guess i expected all this change to happen at once at this new school

i struggled, worked tirelessly, and lost sleep over getting good grades. good grades that allowed me to get into this school

but while i like the academic aspect of school, the schedules and organization of doing assignments on time, i can't seem to grasp the social aspect

i'm so different than everyone at both schools i've been to

i'm not some unmotivated kid at central who couldn't get into his first pick school, who struggles academically

and yet i'm not some boarding/prep school upper middle-class pretentious asshole

i struggle to find things to talk about with these kids. i'm so consumed with schoolwork, i can't seem to hold a normal conversation

it's just so hard sometimes

i know i need to give it time, but a part of me thinks i should be doing more, and more, and more