To my pops:

Happy 62nd birthday. I wish you were here to see me. It’s still so weird to think about you not being here. A part of me feels like it’s been only a few years. But here we are, almost 8 years since you’ve passed. Where has all the time gone? As the years go by, I’m realizing more and more how much you did for me growing up. I guess I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but I sure as shit am figuring things out as an adult. You had so much patience, and really put your best foot forward in everything you did. You always worked such long days, and when you came home you would still have the energy to read to me or help me with my homework. It still amazes me how many activities we did together. You always valued doing things together and spending time together. Just even thinking about working right now, I feel so exhausted after work and I feel like I always complain about shit. But you never complained. I feel like you took everything in stride. I know that you were stressed about money and always worrying about the small details, but it always felt like you were my hero. I looked up to you so much. And I still do. It just seems like my life is getting tougher and tougher and it’s so hard to not have you around. With all this increased responsibility, I just can’t seem to handle life as well, i guess. I just am finding myself more and more fed up and annoyed. I just miss you so much. I’ve been really missing you a lot recently. I just feel like life is difficult without you here. Life’s so tough without having a father like you to be by my side. And I guess it just seems like life is getting tougher, and I’m not sure what to do anymore. I have to be my own source of stability, doing things on my own, and that’s been really scary. I just wish you were here to give me some guidance, to have a laugh and a meal with me. I wish for that more than anything. But I know that you’re in a better place right now, where you don’t have to worry about that pain and suffering anymore. And one day i hope to be reunited with you. Life is so painful, dad. And I guess you would know that. I hope that you’ve found peace. Finally. I hope that you’re not worrying about anything. I hope that you’re happy. I hope that you’re resting easy. I miss you a lot, pops. Thanks for everything. Thanks for still supporting me every day. I love you