I guess I didn't care that you drank before, when we first started dating. But the more emotionally invested I became, the more I cared. Because I brought you into my life. Broke down my walls for you. Let you into my sacred kingdom. Something I've never done before. I didn't care as much before because I could be guarded, but now I'm not. I'm so vulnerable. I've given you my everything. You say it doesn't affect me, that it's independent of our relationship, but it isn't. I gave up cigarettes for us, to prevent your dying early from second hand smoke. To prevent my early death so we can raise a family together. I did it for you, for us. But drinking isn't something I can budge on. I don't want to feel so hopeless and not prioritized, like in every other relationship. Every girlfriend before you has chose something over me. I've never been a priority. I want you to want me, not to want substances. I want you to truly love me enough to not really want to do that anymore. Because I've worked on myself, and I want to live. I don't want to feel like I want to kill myself anymore. And that's exactly how I've felt when I've not been prioritized over substances, and how I'm starting to feel again. Please  please please be gentle with me. I'm so fragile and so easy to break. Please don't break me.

Because I'm worried this is my last chance. That if I'm broken one last time, that's it for my life. 

I need your help so badly. Please be there for me.

My life is finally something worth living for.




I am a home made out of glass. Please be gentle with me.