I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you.

Fuck you for breaking me. Fuck you for letting me fall head over heels for you. I hate you for letting me feel things for you. I hate you for being so callous and telling me that you want to keep things casual, that you don't do long distance.

I fucking hate myself for ignoring the signs and for perpetually wearing my heart on my sleeve.

You don't give a damn about me. You don't care, you never did.

I just want to fucking shout from the rooftops. I want to scream my fucking head off. I'm so livid. I'm so heartbroken. And yet, I did this to myself, too. I let girls hurt me because I don't respect myself enough to look out for myself.

I keep ending up in this same spot, with these fucking girls who don't give two fucking shits about me. Girls who are fucking anomalies, who are callous and selfish and mean. Girls who I let into my life, who I make room for because I'm too weak.

I don't think I believe in love anymore. I think that was the last straw that broke my back. I think my heart is finally broken, once and for all. Slowly chipped away from my mean exes, and finally broken thanks to you. I fucking hate you.

Why don't you fucking retreat back to the safety of Cali when you graduate in December? That's all you Cali girls are good at, is coming to Boulder and breaking my heart and then leaving. Go back to your warm state, because my heart is fucking cold and irreparably damaged.